So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
