You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The beer is more important than you right now.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
