hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
