i need an iv and a liver transplant
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
