perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
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