I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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