dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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