I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
