There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
