There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
