Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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