What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
