your thong is hanging out like whoa
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
