Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she looked like the before picture.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
