How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
