Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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