i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Who died my cat blue again?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize