thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
