maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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