I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
