Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
