I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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