Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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