Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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