i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
