i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
