How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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