I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
