Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
