I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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