this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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