The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
