No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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