I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
