dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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