His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
