whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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