there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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