Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
