Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
