I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
