were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
