We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
