I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
