okay pat passed out under dana's car
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
They took my balls.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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