I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
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