good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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