I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
