I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
