i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
The air taste purple.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
