So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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