Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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