I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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